Monday, July 1, 2013

Confessions

This post is going to make some of you feel judgey.  If you're feeling sassy, go read something else.  Otherwise, read on, friend.  :)

Confession #1:  Reid is [still] nursing.  Some friends/family like to ask if Reid is nursing with a little attitude in that "still."  Yes, he is.  Still.  And it blows my mind.  Pre-Reid I wasn't even sure I would be able to nurse.  As the end of pregnancy approached, I double-checked with my OB about 579 times that there would be people around to help me immediately with breastfeeding.  As in, baby comes out and someone is there to troubleshoot.  And luckily, there was.  In fact, my first time breastfeeding was minutes after Reid was cut from my belly.  I was so out of it that I couldn't even HOLD Reid, but they knew how important this was to me.  My nurse helped me hold my newborn and she held my boob and I nursed.  I was so physically spent and emotionally smashed and my nurse held my baby and boob and helped me nurse.  God bless her.

Those first days/weeks/months were a blur of different issues with nursing.  All I did was nurse.  And eat PB m&ms.  My goal at that point was to nurse Reid until 6 months.  I'd be going back to work, I wasn't sure about pumping, and I'd "heard" that 6 months was a good goal.  Then I went back to work and I pumped.  Reid nursed a lot more during those evening/night hours and didn't drink too much milk at the sitters (who was also a BIGHUMONGOUSAWESOME cheerleader and coach)... which is good because I produced exactly the amount he needed.  Funny how that happens.

And let me tell you, pumping SUCKS.  It's tedious.  And a time suck.  And I'm already not super efficient getting school work done...  I pumped twice at work--once right before the students arrived, and once on my 30 minute lunch break.  I did this erryday, people.  It was not fun, but I was not ready to stop nursing.

After a while, I knew I could make it to 1 year.  So that was my new goal: 1 year.  And then there was only 3 weeks of school left, so I decided we'd just keep going.  Reid was eating table food by this point, so the pressure was definitely off.

And now it's summer.  And there is NO pressure.  We nurse on demand, which is much less frequent then last summer at this time.  My newest goal (that I will keep, promise) is to NOT pump when I go back to work in August.

So why did I keep nursing?  I cannot even begin to tell you how much I love snuggling Reid and feeding him from my body.  Gross to some people, maybe.  I think it's beautiful.  It's also a great way to calm fussiness, help him go to sleep, and heal a tummyache.  I am certain that when Reid is completely weaned I will be sad.  Or better yet, knocked up with #2 and only on a temporary nursing break! ;) ;)

No, I don't really think the bottom-middle one, thankyouverymuch.  Maybe if I was skinnier though... ;)

Confession #2:  Reid sleeps with us.  I know, it's amazing that he didn't get smothered because all babies die when they sleep with their parents, right?  Um, no.  And don't lie. Some of you secretly cuddle your babies in your own beds too.  For the first month at home, I slept in the living room recliner with Reid.  Now THAT is dangerous!!  I literally didn't know what else to do.  He wouldn't sleep in a bassinet, he wouldn't sleep in his crib, and he wouldn't sleep in the pack n play.  The only time he would sleep was in my arms.  So that's what we did.  (I do NOT endorse this as it's really not a safe practice AT ALL.)  Then some very wise friends told me about this Fisher Price Rock n Play.  It was sort of a bassinet that was inclined and could be manually rocked.  We got one and HOLY MOLY he slept in it!  That little device was a life saver.

Once Reid outgrew the RnP, he seemed to transition to his crib well.  All of the sudden, around month 4, Reid was sleeping through the night in his crib.  We thought we'd scored the homerun of sleeping babies.  We got cocky.

And just like that, Reid went back to NOT sleeping anywhere but in my arms.  He was too big for the RnP and I was wiser about the hazards of recliner sleeping.  We were exhausted.  So against everything I'd been told by mainstream parents, we laid in bed and ALL slept.  Reid was able to nurse and fall back asleep without transitioning out of a crib.  I made sure our bed was co-sleeping safe (no extra pillows, blankets, etc.).  We were ALL able to sleep.  And nurse.  And cuddle.

On Reid's birthday, for the first time since his cute little fake-out of sleeping through the night in his nursery, Reid started off the night in his crib, then came into our room after about 90 minutes.  Since then he has been starting off the night in his room.  Some nights he only makes it through the 90 minute sleep cycle before waking and coming to bed with us.  Other nights he'll go much longer.  Last night he didn't wake up until after 3am.  I know that he will evenutally sleep in his room through the night.  It will likley coincide with weaning.

Many caring friends and family members encouraged us to "just let him Cry it Out."  Even our pediatrician, who I love, said we needed to let him cry so he'd learn how to soothe himself.  I just don't get that.  When Reid cries, it's because he needs to be held or fed. I know this because many times, while sleeping, he will wake and simply reach out to see if I'm there.  He will fall back asleep with his hand touching my arm or face.  It's all he needs.  And once we figured out cosleeping, everything was great.  Better than great!!  I never worried that he might be sick or scared or smothering in his crib.  I tend to sleep with one eye open as a mom, so I never really worried about smushing him in our bed either.

And I promise not to go to college with him and cosleep. ;)

He's so smart.  And hot.

Confession #3:  I still have champagne taste on a beer budget.  Just ask my husband.  wah wahh.

How about some [Insta]videos so we can see the sweet babe?
Reiding

Spoon Fail

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