In My Life

"There are places I remember

All my life though some have changed

Some forever not for better

Some have gone and some remain"

I broke my cycle last month. I burned (planned) two vacation days in March. I'm the anti-squirrel that saves my time off acorns for late summer/early autumn. A saver, not a spender. I don't do this.

"All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all"

In my time off, I had a brief moment to reflect. My grandmother died seventeen years ago in March. I'm 34... that IS a lifetime ago! Then it dawned on me: my next birthday, I'll enter the third quarter of my life. There is no halftime or intermission... the average American male lives 74 point something years!

I did some self-evaluation. Gave myself a generous "B".

"But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new"

What does life have in store for my third quarter? 35-51... I can run for president at the beginning and at the end, legally drink a beer with Reid. 😳

A favorite instructor once told me, "if the plane is going down, you've gotta put your mask on first".

It's true. If you don't take care of yourself first, you are of no use to those who rely on you.

Q3 me isn't looking to be selfish. I just want to be a better man/husband/dad at the end of it.

"... In my life, I love you more"

I didn't choose the sap life, it chose me. We don't dwell on what we missed in this house. We learn, we overcome, we move on. 

We do recognize, however, when we hit a home run. With Julie, I don't want to be a better person, I am a better person. I'm excited that I get a full "second half" with my wife.

A good spouse pushes you beyond what you knew you were capable of. Thanks for the nudges along the way!

Gaps... lots of gaps!

Holy...

We last posted in May 2015?!?!?! Julie was 35 weeks pregnant?

It is true what they say, the second one gets lost in the shuffle. We've lost tabs on both the baby books, Harrison (that's the new kids name) is on the brink of crawling, has two bottom teeth poking through, has quite the personality (favors his mom), and loves tinkering with anything (read: touching/altering/moving/hitting anything within arms or legs reach).

With that in mind, as good bloggers do, Julie and I discussed "what to do" with the blog. We're not rookie parents any more. We don't make the time to maintain it, but I am not one to let things die.

She mentions that blogs (blog posts):
* need to be short and concise (agree)
* I tend to ramble (agree)
* require photos (somewhat agree)

Today's post won't feature any pictures. I wanted to share important lessons I've learned in the (almost) four years of parenting. Surprisingly, not many of them are geared toward the kids either. They're all about her and I. You too can apply these nuggets in your relationship (hopefully).

Re-connect

Lost in the doldrums of sitting around with a newborn child are the spark that once filled your life. "They" don't paint this picture very well on Teen Mom or any of the books you'll find on parenting.

Julie and I went from the parents of one awesome toddler the last time we made an entry to this site. Now, we're exhaling after the disaster that was/is Reid's third year (more on that later). The birth of #2 didn't feature all the pomp and coddling of #1. We left the hospital as a family of four and didn't get the chance to re-connect until about Christmas 2015.

We were I was so lost in the grind that I really lost focus on my spouse. I envied that she was taking time off to raise the kids. I hated when I was expected to do anything between the hours of midnight and 5:00 am. I loathed that she no longer had an income once the dust had settled. Long to short... I was becoming a miserable husband and it was affecting my father duties as well.

Patience wore thin with the kids, I took it out on everyone. Sleepy-Beeb has two moods: sleepy and agitated.

We agreed at the beginning of 2016 for one date a month (minimum). With the stress of the holiday season, butting heads for the majority of Harrison's young life, basically trading places with each other in the nursery... I was not a pleasant dude to be around.

Sadly, we didn't make our annual pilgrimage for our date night to Coldwater Café on our anniversary (12/20). We didn't even take our first date night until 1/27. That was the night where I think it all clicked. We didn't want to venture far... one of the kids didn't feel well, didn't want to overwhelm the babysitting service (thanks Grammie!).

We grabbed a couple stools and sat at the end of a bar that night. We talked. We flirted. We actually listened to each other. We ate way too much food and even held hands on the way home. (I don't remember any other sappy details, but I do know we got home in the 10:00 hour and someone played sentry with the kids while the other fell asleep before the 11:00 news).

A couple weeks went by and we got to take our belated anniversary date. Again, it was an abbreviated evening. Rush to dinner and rush home. But that one-on-one time though...

It wasn't until Julie took a weekend trip at the beginning of this month that I truly realized how much I MISSED my wife. Tending to the kids is nothing. Going through life without your confidant is miserable, whether they're miles away or your just not connecting with them while sitting three feet from them in your living room.

The past month has really put into focus where we're heading and what we're capable of as a duo. In the end, the kids won't be here forever, but we will. Our children are products of our love, but it's up to us to show them how to continue the cycle.

Our year is now a quarter over. Three months... poof! For the first time in a long time, I'm really looking forward to the spring/summer months and growing together as a family.